I like new friends because I can reuse old jokes
i’ve been meaning to go on a diet for about 5 years
no one cares just reblog my selfie
*makes up for ugly face with semi-okay personality*
i want a hot body but i also want hot wings
*intensely doesnt care*
If you can’t deal with my sarcasm. I can’t deal with being your friend.
perks of dating me: u will be the hot one
remember when u were like 11 and the only thing u wanted was a lava lamp
no mom i already have a job its called being hardcore
everything good makes you fat an addict or broke
no Santa, they’re not gifts, they’re jifts.
schools have stairs so you can throw yourselves down them
too hot for ugly people too ugly for hot people