townsvillain:

do penguins even have knees? what the fuck

inbox:

is hitting children with your car considered bullying

jakemalik:

i bet you don’t even have 99 problems, you probably have like 92 or 93, stop exaggerating

netflixer:

gir L S„., weAER sHortS???? In SuMMER?????.„,.  nO „„, BaD,. , too Porno gRaphic „ m i g/ht distraCt boys„ , . mus T punISh girls„,. how Dare thEy have lEGs., .????

sniffing:

iOS 7 more like iOS 7% of my battery left.

IM TRYING

a luigi board

the only exercise i get is walking to the fridge and back

inbox:

why do teapots scream like wtf shut the hell up you piece of shit

teatattoo:

SHOWERS ARE FUCKING INCREDIBLE. OH UR SKIN FEELS STICKY? SHOWER. HAIR A LITTLE GREASY? SHOWER. NEED TO ESCAPE YOUR FAMILY? SHOWER.

literalsame:

I HTAE BEING A TEENAGER I ALWAYS EITHER WANT TO THROW MYSELF OUT A WINDOW OR CUDDLE WITH CUT E PERSON OR EAT A COW

if my jokes offend you:

1. i’m sorry
2. it won’t happen again
3. 1 & 2 are lies 
4. you’re a pussy

suspend:

why are boys hot and cute like wtf take a break